Yesterday, I was reminded of a significant difference between Turkish and American culture. The Turkish language doesn't have a word with the basic meaning of 'being frustrated,' as it is used in daily modern English. When I lived with a Turkish family several years ago, if I got 'frustrated,' they sometimes commented that I was 'angry.' I tried to explain why I was 'just frustrated' and not angry; it didn't work. So, for the past several years I have pondered off and on about the nature of frustration, and I have come to the conclusion that they are right: what I call frustration is anger.
Last night I was spending time with those same friends, trying to help them work through a cross-cultural, cross-Atlantic business issue. Everything went wrong, and I got frustrated. In older English, I might say, 'My expectations/plans were being frustrated'; that is, my plans were being thwarted. In more modern English, we say, 'I am frustrated'; that is, I am reacting negatively to the thwarting of my plans. In other words, I am responding to adversity with negative passionate emotion... sounds like anger.
If I argue that I was simply frustrated, not really angry, I am not really dealing with my heart, I am dealing with my actions. We tend to say 'frustrated' when we are keeping it inside and are externally calm and reasonable; 'anger' starts with the yelling. So, we have excused our sin (frustration) by saying that anger is controlled and undeveloped. May God continue to change my heart and yours through His Word and His Spirit, so that this does not continue!
Why does 'frustration' not get preached on if it is truly a sin?
This seems to be a classic case of a cultural blind spot which is not easily seen because of the distance between our culture and the ones through which we received God's Word. Like Turkish, biblical cultures may not have distinguished 'frustration' from 'anger.' I've also wondered if there is a possibility of the near synonyms of 'anger' and 'wrath' being similar to the distinction we make. Here's the biblical data as far as I can tell which answers the question why I don't remember any sermons on frustration.
In the KJV, NKJV, ESV, and NIV (2011), 'frustrate' occurs less than a dozen times never meaning 'controlled anger,' always with its older meaning of 'to thwart,' as of a plan or objective, not a person.
In the NASB, HCSB and NIV (1984), it occurs once with the modern 'mild anger' meaning (2 Sam 13:2). (The HSBC has an additional possibility in Job 6:20, but that also seems to clearly have the 'thwart' meaning.)
Last night I was spending time with those same friends, trying to help them work through a cross-cultural, cross-Atlantic business issue. Everything went wrong, and I got frustrated. In older English, I might say, 'My expectations/plans were being frustrated'; that is, my plans were being thwarted. In more modern English, we say, 'I am frustrated'; that is, I am reacting negatively to the thwarting of my plans. In other words, I am responding to adversity with negative passionate emotion... sounds like anger.
If I argue that I was simply frustrated, not really angry, I am not really dealing with my heart, I am dealing with my actions. We tend to say 'frustrated' when we are keeping it inside and are externally calm and reasonable; 'anger' starts with the yelling. So, we have excused our sin (frustration) by saying that anger is controlled and undeveloped. May God continue to change my heart and yours through His Word and His Spirit, so that this does not continue!
Why does 'frustration' not get preached on if it is truly a sin?
This seems to be a classic case of a cultural blind spot which is not easily seen because of the distance between our culture and the ones through which we received God's Word. Like Turkish, biblical cultures may not have distinguished 'frustration' from 'anger.' I've also wondered if there is a possibility of the near synonyms of 'anger' and 'wrath' being similar to the distinction we make. Here's the biblical data as far as I can tell which answers the question why I don't remember any sermons on frustration.
In the KJV, NKJV, ESV, and NIV (2011), 'frustrate' occurs less than a dozen times never meaning 'controlled anger,' always with its older meaning of 'to thwart,' as of a plan or objective, not a person.
In the NASB, HCSB and NIV (1984), it occurs once with the modern 'mild anger' meaning (2 Sam 13:2). (The HSBC has an additional possibility in Job 6:20, but that also seems to clearly have the 'thwart' meaning.)
This is SO true!!! We mask a real sin issue by making it sound acceptable to ourselves and others when in reality we need to repent! I wonder how many other ways we talk about our sin that minimizes it and makes it sound "acceptable"?
ReplyDeleteI don't know, but I'm not sure that I could have understood the problem without someone having been that blunt with me. It is certainly one of the blessings of cross-cultural relationships to be able to grow in these sorts of ways. Interestingly enough, these friends probably don't even realize that it is a 'sin issue' for me as they are not Christ-followers.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Think you hit the nail on the head here.
ReplyDelete